A Love Letter to My Daughter

Little Eleanora,

You’re not old enough yet to understand Valentine’s Day yet. You’ve never even smelled a rose or tasted chocolate. You don’t know anything much about this world. In all honesty, I’m a little scared to think about you growing up. But before you do, which I know will happen so much more quickly than I’d like, I wanted to tell you a few things.

Your daddy and I love you a crazy lot, and actually I think loving you has made me a bit crazy! We aren’t perfect, nor do we have the perfect relationship. We haven’t arrived, but we aren’t nearly done chasing after the things God has put in our hearts. We’ve learned that loving requires a lot of grace, and our example is Jesus. It’s because of that I can assure you that we will always love you just because you’re you. God has created you so beautifully unique for a specific purpose. No matter how you feel about yourself, He has put infinite value on you. We see it. You’re special, not because of anything you do, are or have accomplished, but simply because He made you. And know that He makes no mistakes. You’re only a baby now, so I have no idea what you will like or be interested in as you grow up. We’re only just now starting to see what makes your little personality emerge. You may not love music like we do, be or do anything like us. You will try things, a lot of things and fail at them. Actually, you’ll probably fail a lot. You will make a fool of yourself, flounder, get embarrassed, make mistakes, not fit in and feel lonely. That may not sound much like a love letter right now, but oh, it is my sweet girl. You see you probably won’t be good at a lot of things. This world put so much importance on accomplishments, the gold stickers, trophies, being the star athlete or the dazzling artist, getting into the best school and excelling in every area possible. But I just want you to know, before you even take your first step, that none of that matters to me. You are not, nor will ever be an extension of my goals and dreams. I promise not to make you the center of my universe nor to place all my happiness in you. However, the promise I will strive to keep is this:

Eleanora, my sweet, perfect daughter, I promise to help you uncover who God has designed you to be, regardless of what that looks like. I want to show you, above all, the One whose love is far more infinite than mine. He will be the true foundation for true courage to be who you are and to find out your purpose. I can’t do that for you. I don’t have those answers. The best thing I can do is to point you to Jesus. As much as I love you, I will let you down. I will inevitably, and unintentionally hurt you in some way because I am flawed and imperfect. You are too. I’m not ashamed of my flaws or yours, so you shouldn’t be either. They only remind us that we both need Jesus desperately and teach us not to rely on ourselves.

Know that no love can fill your life so completely like His. Your dad is wonderful. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have him and I’m crazy about him, but he isn’t my everything. Jesus is. Sure, one day you’ll feel what they call “butterflies” and might think you’ve felt love, put know that it isn’t a guarantee of happiness. Actually, we aren’t promised that life will make us happy. That’s not what life is about, because life isn’t about you or me. The path God calls you on may not look anything like what you wanted. He might say “no” or ask something of you that you don’t feel like doing. Of course I want you to be happy in life, but the most loving thing I can desire for you is God’s best…even if it brings you pain. Even in my short 26 years I have known deep pain, I’ve felt abandoned and alone. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade the journey through the darkness for anything, because it’s then that God taught me the most and I felt His love the strongest. Even in the deepest of valleys, His love is truly all that you need.

One day very soon you will start seeking approval and affirmation. It’s part of human nature. If I could I’d heap all the praise I could onto you, but I know that’s not what you need. This world is fully people trying to find approval from others. We all want to be accepted. I’m not sure what social media will look like for you, but it has amplified our great need to be affirmed more than ever. Don’t get caught up in all of that darling. Having people “like” you really doesn’t matter. You can have a lot of people “like” you or what you share and still have a huge, gaping hole in your heart. Don’t look for the approval of others. True confidence and assurance comes from the One who made you. Don’t let what people think of you get you down or fill you with pride. What God thinks is what matters. Don’t be consumed with “What do they think?” instead ask, “How can I serve others?” Put the focus off of yourself and think of other people. (I”m still working on this too, and probably will for the rest of my life.) I’m going to want to put a lot of focus on you, because you’re my baby. I’m going to want to make you feel good about yourself in whatever way I can, but your character is far more important.

As much as I’d love for you not to ever have to struggle, the easy thing is almost always the wrong choice. Do the hard things. Nothing in life worth doing is ever going to be easy. What God may call you to do will probably be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but it will be worth it. Actually, you won’t be able to do it yourself at all. That’s the point though. You need Him. You can’t do anything worthwhile on your own. The sooner you learn that the better. He has to be your strength or you will get discouraged and end up settling for something other than His best for your life. I’d love to make your life easy for you, but I love you. God’s love for you is far more infinite than mine, so know that He is giving you His best when He leads you to hard things that are beyond you. Nothing is beyond His strength and power. The best thing is to surrender everything you have and watch Him do miraculous things you can’t do on your own.

My heart is so full as I ponder on what your little life will be. I pray these things over you all the time as you sleep in my arms. I am so at rest in knowing that I am not your everything. I am not alone in my love for you. In fact, I can’t even begin to match God’s love. Above all else, I pray you’ll know His love first and as soon as you can understand it. Best way I can love you is to show you not my love, but God’s love. No gift, no praise, no measure of happiness I can attempt to give you will ever match it.

Happy Valentine’s Day Elle!

I love you,

Mama