Motherhood is NOT God’s Greatest Calling

“I see women believing and repeating the lie that motherhood is the highest calling for all women. Did you know that’s nowhere in the Bible? The only reference to a chief call on anyone’s life is found in Matthew 6:33: Seek first the Father’s kingdom and His righteousness. We watch as that lie discourages those who are unable to be mothers and immobilizes those who love their children and still feel called to serve in other contexts.” – Wild & Free

I read these words from the book, Wild & Free a few months ago and it really confirmed in my heart what I have been feeling when I hear people say “Motherhood is God’s greatest calling.” I understand where they are coming from, truly. I do believe it is an incredible gift and great responsibility that should be taken seriously and given great care, purpose and passion. What an honor to raise little ones for Jesus! What a blessing to help shape little lives to pursue their God-given callings! Still, I have been wrestling with the passages from the sermon on the mount, and other “hard teachings” of Jesus and I cannot make peace with the phrase. Shockingly, even in Provers 31 doesn’t infer anything remotely similar. It spends most of the chapter talking about the woman’s character, endeavors, and the many other things she does and not about her motherhood. The only time it mentions children is in verse 28, “her children rise up and call her blessed.” The 3 mentions of her household are as follows: “she provides food for her household…she is not afraid of snow for her household…she looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” And this is the greatest praise of a godly woman! The fact that she raised children is a fleeting detail at the end of the chapter. Of course, the importance of the role is not to be downplayed at all. Certainly, I know it is a huge undertaking, something the requires immense energy, love and patience. However, I can’t get away from the feeling that maybe, just maybe we have idolized motherhood in the church and put it on a pedestal where it doesn’t quite belong. 

Titus 2:3-4 talks about what older women should teach the young: “(Older women) are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” Obviously, the responsibilities we have to our homes is important. If we don’t take these things seriously, we are showing that we don’t take God’s word seriously. If we have the privilege to have children (because scripture teaches they are blessings), then how we raise them is vastly important. We are furthering the Kingdom by being a witness with how we love and serve our families. But what Jesus calls EVERY disciple to do doesn’t stop here.

Jesus says in Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” He desires to be above all other loves. When He bids us to Him, I cannot say “but Jesus, you called me to be a mother!” I cannot respond with, “that doesn’t apply to me because I’m raising babies.” His cross comes first. And you know what? The cross isn’t pretty and what He has called us to bear may not be kid friendly! It may take me outside of my home into someplace less than safe. The call may require me to have someone other than myself see to Elle’s needs because I am ministering to others more needy. It may even require me to spend less time with her and more time with others. It may invade our space, our lives, our comfort and “what is best” for the kids. What if the Jesus asks us to have a homeless person live with us? What if I’m supposed to stop and witness when it’s nap time and I really need to go home? What if the Cross means having people in our home for Bible study on one of our two family nights? Maybe the call of Christ disrupts the ideal of motherhood?

Christ revealed the purpose for each and every individual who will follow Him and bear His cross at the end of Matthew: “Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'” (Matthew 28:18-20) There is no motherhood clause. There is no distinction between man and woman. The call is to go and make disciples. I simply cannot see that when Jesus said to go and make disciples, that my main call is to disciple my children – or even to disciple them until their grown, and then I’m free to disciple others. I’m no scholar, but I think the point is to make as many disciples as you can. There is no, “first your children, then others” I can find in what Jesus requires of His followers. From what I read, it is Him above all else. Period. No exceptions. No excuses. Even in Proverbs 31, it says that “She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.” She obviously was not just concerned with the needs of her family.

In all honesty, I have used my sweet girl as an excuse in not following the call of Christ to the utmost. My eyes have been so opened to all the ways I am NOT obeying the commands of Christ. I have used the excuse of “doing what is best” for her because making disciples feels uncomfortable for me. Because in reality, “motherhood is God’s greatest calling” is not in scripture. His call is the greatest calling. Motherhood falls under the Lordship of Christ, just as everything else in our lives does. Serving our families and creating a Christ-centered home is an opportunity to serve Jesus, not the all in all of a woman. Jesus says not to simply love those who love you (although the love of my toddler is debatable sometimes!) but to love those who hate you! His call expects that you will be persecuted for truly following Him! He says to give to everyone who begs of you. He requires that anyone who will follow Him takes up his own cross and follows Him, without looking back. That certainly doesn’t sound like the idolized version of motherhood I grew up with, but instead much, much more. It sounds incredibly hard, on top of motherhood being hard enough as it is! But this is the call of Christ, the highest calling.